Happy Halloween!

Thanks to some wonderful people from Lake George, David was armed and ready for Halloween.


After hours of negotiations, the escaped prisoner from the new color-filled prisons finally gave up to federal officials. (Actually, I caught him pre-sneeze, and it just looked too funny!)
or
"Ok, Ok, I give up. I have been found guilty of being the cutest thing alive!"


The famed conductor of the Potsdam Chamber Orchestra stands at the ready.

First Annual Daddy Day

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. Today is the first ever DADDY DAY. Heather will be out all day (with a noon-ish stop back here for a bit), so I am on baby duty ALL DAY. No help. No friends. No sleeping. No ability to nurse. It promises to be an exciting day. Let's go down to our announcer on the field.

Hi guys, this is Al Michaels. Emotions are running really high down here. It promises to be a great day all around. I was talking to the father earlier today, and he feels confident that his team can pull the upset win, even though they were having some issues with the number 1 pooper this morning. But they are all smiles and full of confidence. I'm excited to see how this plays out. Back to you guys in the booth.

Thanks, Al. Well, we're going to bring you the action all day, depending on if and when we have time to give you updates. So check back often, stay tuned, and remember to fear communism! The Red Sc- what? Oh, that's done with. Well, then make sure you vote.

Daddy Day Begins!

7:45am: Mommy is in the shower, Daddy is in his bed, and David is in his bed. David promptly wakes daddy up (ironically enough at the time Mommy was going to wake up Daddy). A very groggy Daddy gets up, puts on his clothes, and then notices that David has fallen back asleep. So this is how it begins...

8:15am: Mommy leaves, saying something to the effect of "Wow, this is so backwards." Daddy has the food supply at the ready, and takes his son upstairs to help clean out the office.

8:20-8:30am: David poops. Yes, all 10 minutes. It appears Daddy will be earning his keep.

8:30am-9:30am: David spends time in his seat, making lots of 'coo-ing' sounds, especially after he sneezes.

9:30am-9:50am: David spends some time on a pillow on my lap, while I do some things on the computer. He loves looking at the two monitors, and loves watching things move from one monitor to the other, and back again.

9:50am-?: David finally falls asleep. The office cleaning begins...

9:50-10:30am: David sleeps, I clean. He stirs at 10:30. I look around the office, and say to myself, "Did I even do anything?"

10:30-10:45am: David gets fed. 6 oz. Boy am I tired. During this time, I enjoy watching the beginning of "Sum of All Fears," the one about the nuclear bomb at a football game. Near the end of his feeding, David drops his own bomb.

10:45-11:30am: David enjoys time on the frog-thingie. I continue to watch the movie, occasionally kicking the hanging items. He's just loving it the whole time.

11:30-noon: He suddenly stops loving it the whole time...that's his subtle way of telling me "go change my diaper." This kid LOVES getting his diaper changed. He's all smiles, all coos, all the time. I spend a few minutes playing with him, and I make up a game that ALWAYS gets him to smile and coo. So cool.

noon-12:15: Mom comes home. David is so happy to see her that he's suddenly struck with the 'hungries.'

12:15-1:30PM: Since mom's home, I get to shower and clean a few things up. I make lunch, and we tag-team baby duty.

1:30-2:10PM: Mom's gone, and Daddy Day resumes. David enjoys the first 30 minutes in a chair while I continue to work in the office, and spends the last 10 minutes protesting the fact that he is still in the chair. I finish my small project, apologize, and put him on a huge pillow on my lap.

2:15-2:45PM: David sleeps on my lap. He is so cute, so adorable, and he does NOT wake up when I type this update on the keyboard.

2:45-3:30PM: David wakes up. He so kindly and considerately asks to be fed (parents can read between the lines on that one). After feeding him again, he promptly falls asleep on my chest. Got through most of "Sum of All Fears."

3:30-4:00PM: David stayed asleep during the escort upstairs to his bed, which looks good for me. I may actually have a larger block of time to do stuff! We'll see...

4:00-4:15: David wakes up with the "wraith" screams. This means something is wrong. I pick him up, and quickly discover what is wrong. His diaper, his clothes, and the pillow beneath him are now wet. One diaper change and one outfit later (and a few minutes of playing, of course!), and David is ready to go.

4:15-5PM: David sits in the chair in the office while I continue to do random things here and there. He's beginning to fuss, and I'm beginning to do the math...it's been about 2 hours since his last feeding. Sigh...

5:00-5:30PM: I get David downstairs, get the food ready, and feed him. Finished "Sum of All Fears."

5:30-6:30PM: David enjoys time on the swinging-seat, and more time on the floor-frog, but he just seems agitated. No matter what I do, he can't seem to be pleased. The most comfortable position seems to be on my chest. So I compromise, sit there for an hour, start "Sum of All Fears" again, this time with the director and Tom Clancy's commentary. Very funny, by the way. The first thing Tom Clancy says is "Hi, I'm Tom Clancy, and I wrote the book 'Sum of All Fears,' which they pretty much ignored when making the movie." And he spends most of the commentary saying "Yeah, that's crap. It would never happen that way," and "That's bull$#!^." The guy is BRILLIANT by the way. He sees one random caption, with a boat in the water and some random Russian body of water, and says "Funny, how a huge boat like that would be in that small lake, which happens to have a dam in it." Very funny stuff. Little tension-filled. Definitely enjoyable. But I'm sidetracked.

6:30-7:00PM: David's still not happy, but it works better if he's not happy in the office, so I can get stuff done.

7:00-7:30PM: David finally falls asleep, just in time for mommy to return with groceries. We unload everything, and as we get everything in, he wakes up. The boy has great timing.

7:30-8:15PM: Mom nurses, Dad puts away all the groceries. Fun times.

Daddy Day builds to an exciting conclusion

CONCLUSION: After nursing, Mom asks if I can take the child while she goes to the bathroom. I do, and he's agitated again. Not sure what to do about it, so I just hold him. Finally he goes still.

And that's when I should have figured it out.

The kid pooped harder and louder than I have ever heard before. So much poop, so little time. From the bathroom, Heather yells "Was that him?!?" (for the time being, please ignore what that implies about me). "Yes," I reply, as I reach my hand down to check to see how the diaper did.

Not so well.

I feel...wetness. I cringe. I pick my son up, and look at his back. There is a nice brown area that offers a nice constrast to the blue outfit he has on. Wait, the area is getting bigger. Oh no.

So I run upstairs. Plop him on the table. Get to the diaper. It had no chance. There was so much poop it had nowhere else to go but up his back. I clean him off, take off the clothes (which have now soaked through to the pad on the changing table). I begin to get the new clothes on him, and stop to play with him for a bit. After a few moments of laughter, he goes still again.

Yes. Freakin' again.

Another loud poop. I stare back at him, trying to use my gaze to bore through his very being. He returns the favor by farting. And grunting. And poops again.

My wife, who has been up here for the entire episode, just barely smiles. Inside her head, of course, bands are playing, people are parading down the street, and the crowd is cheering like it has never cheered before. People are making speeches, trees are growing, flowers are blooming, planes are flying overhead, clowns are being shot out of cannons, and baby seals are clubbing people. But on the outside, she maintains an air of dignity, grace, and respect.

I, on the other hand, strap him into the changing table, and walk away.


And so, the First Annual Daddy Day ends.

Choose Your Own Caption

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. It's time to play another game of CHOOSE YOUR OWN CAPTION. While it may seem confusing that we've never done this before, that should only tell you how much more you'll enjoy it than the last time!

OK. Here's a caption-less picture. Leave a comment, and I'll add it to the post. Please, keep them (mostly) clean. Enjoy!



Reader Submissions:

"How can I get Surround Sound in my car seat?" -Jim

"Maybe if I just stare into space, and don't do anything cute, he'll put away that flashy clicky thing." -EuphGrampy

"Let's see now. Eat, check. Sleep, check. Gurgle and coo, check. Of course, that's it! Time for a dump!" -EuphGrampy

"So they think that funny thing is cute, just wait till they fall asleep and see what I do to pay them back! -EuphGrammy

"Ummm...Mom...Dad...the duck thing is mooning me." -FatherEuph

"I miss Aunt Kassie and Uncle Patrick - I wonder when Mommy and Daddy are going to take me to see them again?" - Aunt Kassie, who is REALLY POSITIVE that is what David is saying

Hats I

Yes, that's right. Hats. I.

As in "Hats I." Or "Hats 1."

As in, all about hats, the first of many.

Like "Confessions II," but without the cheating and the illegitimate child (I prefer Weird Al's Confessions III anyway).

Like Rocky IV, but we'll get BETTER with age.

Like the Die Hard movies, but without the lame tag ("Die Harder." "With a Vengeance." And the new one..."Live Free or Die Hard." Is this the product of a 2nd grade competition?)

Like, get on with it aleady.

I am a pirate! Yarr!

Fought the Greeks, fought the Persians, and yet here I am, in a diaper.

Do I really need to tell you what I'm thinking?

Picture of the Day 10-24

Life is a highway
I want to drive it
ALL NIGHT LONG!
(sorry Mom and Dad)

Sounds like David

The music organization who's festival was this past weekend (the organization of which I am the president) is now over, and I can now resume normal life. FYI: Now accepting responses to correct that sentence...while is has all the necessary information and fits into one tidy sentence, it sure sounds awkward.

Anyway, I was busy reflecting on my newly-found free time. It is quite nice to finally be able to smell the flowers...to enjoy the beauty that is Autumn...to finally get some extra sleep.

Unfortunately for me, while I was busy planning like crazy, we got a few inches of snow this past Thursday, so all the flowers are dead. And the snow wasn't the only thing to fall...just about all the leaves are gone. And since the festival, I've barely slept. Not really sure why I didn't sleep Saturday night, but I know WITHOUT A DOUBT why my wife and I didn't sleep last night.

No matter how cute my son and his nosises are, they lose some cuteness between the hours of 1am and 5PM (in which he woke us up 3 times).

In honor of my son's cute sounds, I offer you this chance to be, well, just like me (but without the unfortunate hair-loss side effects). Now YOU can pretend to have a son that wakes you up in the middle of the night! Why, with these sounds you're about to hear, you could do any of the following:

• Use them as a ring-tone on your cell phone, and have your friends call you while you sleep (in 1.5 hour intervals for the full effect).


• Wake up your parents with it in the dead of night.


• Program them into your local fire department's siren, and then call in a fire (setting your friend's house on fire is purely up to you).


• Play them for the morning announcements at your school. Students may actually LISTEN to them.


• Use it as the bass line of the next great rap song (great rap song...that's an oxymoron, like Act Naturally, Awfully Good, and Microsoft Works).


• Find a way to change police car sirens to these sounds. Then police would have people's attention, and people wouldn't be looking at the officers with that "Oh-crap-I-hope-he-didn't-just-catch-me-speeding" look.

And believe it or not, it won't sound as cute anymore.

Just click on the gangsta-rapper picture below (It may take a minute to load up on slower internet connections):

Click on the image above for some David Sounds, or click this caption for the larger version of this image.

Picture of the Day 10-20

Picture of the Day 10-19

Not sure about you, but this is my next background. In case you don't know how to do it:

1) Click on the image (it will open a larger version in a new window).
2) Right-click on the larger image, and choose the "set as wallpaper" option.
3) Smile.

Picture of the Day 10-18

My thoughts exactly.

Series: Reflections

Ah, the public, whom it may seem I have turned my back on.

Please, be forgiving. Please, be kind.

It has been 4 days since my last confession, I mean post.

Please, go easy on me. Please, be gentile.

I offer you the only thing that has a hope of saving me....cute pictures of my son. May the 'ooohs' and 'aaahs' from my son's pictures drown out the complaints of a lack of posting from his lowly and humble father.

David becomes a shy one, turning from his new neighbor.

Excited as ever, David embraces the "love your neighbor" quote from the Bible.

The attention span of an infant...bored already.

Picture of the Day 10-12

Picture of the Day 10-11

While focusing her talents and college visits on becoming the next Mia Hamm,

Julia also has a special talent for putting small babies to sleep in loud rooms.

Picture of the Day 10-10

Picture of the Day 10-9

All the grandchildren, together in one place.

The agony of de-feet.

Through miserable, tireless work and lots of dedication, and thanks to the relentless efforts of Aunt Lindsey and Aunt Kassie, our son David finally discovered something new about himself. Just look below on the agonizing work David was put through by his demanding Aunts...

Yes, I know, it sickens you to see us put our son through such torturous activities. We're bad parents, you're thinking. Just wait until the media gets hold of THIS information.

We understand how much it pains you to look upon someone so pure, so beautiful, and so insanely cute, and see him go through something so painful, so miserable, and so horrible. But please, you must swallow your pride, take one for the team, and read on.

The misery... it's too much... can't take it... almost through... you can do it...

It was in these vicious activities, while he was rigorously working his leg muscles, that our son, David James, made the most startling discovery of his life thus far.

I have feet!

And, the discovery of these strange, new objects on the bottom of his body naturally led to another thought.

I want to eat my feet!

After figuring out that he couldn't get his feet into his mouth, he finally came to his second, more permanent realization.

I like my feet!

Now that he has discovered something, it was time to finish the game, end the day, end this post, and celebrate, King Kong style.

Picture of the Day 10-7

Welcome to Heather's home. We hope you enjoy your stay.

Picture of the Day 10-6

Sleeping...it's what I do best.

Not one of THOSE e-mails.....

1. FIRST NAME? David

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? King David of the Bible, my father's brother James and my father's friend James (who's in Iraq).

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? 5 minutes ago.

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Can't write, but I drool a mean cursive.

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Does milk count?

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Only if he lets me nurse first.

7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? My parents do. It says how often I eat and when I last pooped.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? I don't even have my teeth yet!

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? If you want to be brought up on charges...sure.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Does milk count?

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? With my teeth, yes.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I can balance my head with my neck pretty well.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Mint Chocolate Milk

14. SHOE SIZE? .5

15. RED OR PINK? My face is mostly pink, but it turns red when I poop.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Can't dunk a basketball. Yet.

17. WHO/WHAT DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Being warm. Now that I'm in the real world, the temperature thing is just WEIRD.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Yes, we like comments here, but it may be a bit much.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Blue pants. My toes are way too cute for shoes.

20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? "Shhh. Shhh. Shhh." Written and performed by my parents.

21. WHERE IS THE ONE PLACE YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE? Permanently attached to my mom. I could eat ALL THE TIME.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Pink, but red when I poop.

23. FAVORITE SMELL? Does milk count?

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Super Grandma!

25. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? the ability to nurse.

26. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Aunt Lindsey? Aunt Merritt? OF COURSE!!!

27. FAVORITE DRINK? Do I even need to answer this?

28. FAVORITE SPORT? Fishing. Check out my fishing pose, while I sit in the arms of my Great Uncle Brian!

29. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? Pink, but red when I poop.

30. HAT SIZE? 0-3 months (that's .5 in adult size).

31. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No way. I can't even focus on things.

32. FAVORITE FOOD? Rhymes with silk.

33. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? I actually prefer scary endings, like those times mom thinks she is done changing my diaper...

34. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Black...no, white...no, black maybe...naw...

35. SUMMER OR WINTER? What's winter?

36. HUGS OR KISSES? I like giving hugs and getting kisses. I get lots of kisses. ALL THE TIME. From the ladies. Boo-ya.

37. FAVORITE DESSERT? Chocolate Chip Cookie milk.

38. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? People who are at work.

39. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Most people (sigh).

40. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? "The Real Mother Goose"

41. WHAT'S ON THE MOUSE PAD? My drool. (DON'T TELL DAD!)

42. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? Myself in the reflection. Man, am I HOT!

43. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE SOUNDS? When my mom says "Again? (sigh) Fine..."

45. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? The hospital, but that's going to change this weekend...

46. WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? Loud poops, and laughing in my sleep.

47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Oooh...uh...haven't taken biology yet, I see...well, go ask your mother.

48. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Aunt Lindsey.

49. WHAT DAY IS IT? Day 47 of my life (this picture is day 7.)