How To Feed David

Here is a step by step plan on how to feed David. Feel free to practice at home on your cabbage patch kid (yes, we know you STILL have it).

Step 1 Always make sure you have his attention. If you don't when you try to feed him...it never goes well.

Step 2 With food on the spoon, bring it towards his face. Feel free to aim at the mouth, but this is not necessary, as he will try to bring his mouth in the direction of the food.

Step 3 Insert spoon into open mouth. Allow him to close mouth. Pull spoon out, trapping the food behind his upper lip.

Step 4 Success has been achieved. Allow him a moment to enjoy success while you reload the spoon for another go.

Step 5 Use all available means to prevent him from talking. This is the "You say it, you spray it" law. HazMat suits are a very smart option.